Can't sleep

This Song is by Watermark
It's called, "Glory Baby"

Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby…baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you…
Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a
day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do
Sweet little babies, it’s hard to
understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…
BRIDGE:
I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…


Here is a link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUZkjbYaKPA

I know I was only 4 weeks, but it doesn't matter to me. There was still a growing baby inside me that I had already fallen in love with. From the moment I saw a positive on that pregnancy test, I was in love. This just hurts so bad.
I'm dreading leaving the house. I do not want to face the world. I'm not ready to talk about this. I don't know if I ever will. I write. It is my way of expressing my feelings.
I never thought this would happen to us.
At least I have my husband to help get me through this. I just don't feel like I'm helping him. I know we need to be there for each other, but I just cry. He is stronger than I am.
I think I'm even more upset simply because I can literally feel pain. I'm cramping and everytime I feel that, I think of our baby.

I just don't understand why......